Identities

I know it’s been a while, but I’ve been busy in my personal life. So let’s get back into things by going a little deeper into terminology and Identity.

So I’m guessing you’re all wondering what I mean by identity. In the kink world many people choose to identify themselves by what they enjoy. The easiest example of this is when somebody says they are a Dominant or a Submissive. However these aren’t the only 2 identities.

I’m going to discus these in greater depth, to hopefully improve awareness and maybe even lead you to discover something new.

These are all the identities I can think of at the moment:

  • Dominant
  • Dominatrix
  • Submissive
  • Top
  • Bottom
  • Switch
  • Master
  • Mistress
  • Slave
  • Predator
  • Prey
  • Mummy (mommy for my American followers)
  • Daddy
  • Little girl
  • Little boy
  • Sadist
  • Masochist
  • Swinger
  • Voyeur
  • Exhibitionist
  • Nudist
  • Rope Bunny
  • Vanilla
  • Owner
  • Pet
  • Non-monogamist / Polyamorist

Dominant/Dominatrix

These are the male and female terms for somebody who enjoys being in control. This can be restricted to the bedroom or for some it can be a 24/7 lifestyle.

Submissive

This is the term for somebody who likes to be controlled in the bedroom, again this can also be a 24/7 lifestyle.

Top

This term is used for people who enjoy performing acts however they are not interested in the control/domination aspect. So somebody my enjoy doing the tying up or the spanking etc, however they may do it for other reasons than control

Bottom 

This term is used for those who like receiving acts but are not interesting in being controlled or dominated. These people may enjoy things like flogging and being tied up, however it will be for other reasons than the feeling of control and submission.

Slave

Somebody who is willing to be owned by a master or mistress. They want to please their master/mistress and it makes them happy to do this. They may receive punishment for making mistakes.

Master/Mistress

The owners of a slave. They are similar to dominants in that they enjoy the control. They also give out punishments and rewards.

Predator

A primal predator is someone who like to chase/hunt their prey. It can ben very instinct based/animalistic sex, but not always.

Prey

Primal prey like to be hunted and chased by primal predators. Primal play can feature rough play and fear play.

Mummy/Daddy

Takes on a parental role and cares for their “child” (partner). This involves age play, so one partner will be the parent and the other the child.

Little girl/Little boy

The “children” who require looking after. This can go as far a wearing nappies/diapers, breast feeding and having bottles. People who enjoy this like letting go and not having to think about the adult world during play.

Sadist

A person who gets sexual pleasure from the suffering of others. (Sometimes these people will also identify as a dominant, however these terms can be separate)

Masochist

A person who takes pleasure from pain. This doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual.

Swinger

As stated in a previous post, swingers enjoy socialising and playing/enjoying adult fun with other like-minded people.

Voyer

Voyers enjoy watching others have sex.

Exhibitionist

These people enjoy being naked infant of others and this can include having sex infant of others.

Nudist

As discussed in a previous post, nudists tend to practice nudism as a lifestyle, they don’t wear clothes because it feels natural and normal to them. This is not a lifestyle for sexual satisfaction.

Rope Bunny

As you may have guessed, this term describes a woman or man who enjoys rope play.

Vanilla

A term used within the kink community which generally describes people who do not part-take in kink. Also used to describe “normal” sex, where no toys or kinky aspects such as domination are used.

Owner

Sometimes used as the title for somebody who owns a slave. Can also be used as a term for somebody who own’s a pet.

Pet

These people enjoy role play as an animal. also known as pet play. they normally have an owner/handler. Most commonly seen in pet play are cats, dogs and horses/pony’s. although any animal could be used.

Non-manogomist / polyamorist

These people enjoy multiple partners. This term can apply to swingers. However is can also apply to people who have multiple relationships. For example some people do have 3-way relationships, as opposed to a threesome where feelings art involved.

Switch

It is important to note that you don’t have to just choose one. That is where the term switch really comes in. So most commonly you will hear people saying they are a Sum/Dom switch. This principle can be applied to any terms. So you could be a Dom/bottom switch or a vanilla/prey switch.

Personally I use several identities dependant on company. I identify as a Sub/Top switch, I also identify as a swinger and exhibitionist.

Hope this provides a bit of clarity for some people. Remember an identity is individual, its whatever you want it to be. and you don’t have to fit into one category. You can include whatever you want, and could even come up with your own term that sums you up if you wanted. Just have fun with it, it all means nothing if you aren’t happy and comfortable in what you do.

 

Kink

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